Thanksgiving 2005
Well, it is time for my annual Thanksgiving message, something I have been doing for many years now since the advent of email. It comes to you a little early this year because of school concerns and homework schedules so I wanted to put something down on paper before the school week began. It is a long entry so for those of you who don’t read past this point, have a great Thanksgiving. For those who do, unlike in previous years, I wanted to make this message a little less political and a little more personal. Please allow me to say this to start, I have never been more thankful in my life, I feel as if I am engaged in a journey that I have been preparing for since birth.
This year’s Thanksgiving theme is about connection. It would be wrong for me not to talk about connection considering what I have been going through this year. I am connecting with people in completely new and fascinating ways. I am connecting with my family differently than before (interesting for sure), I am connecting with people of different faiths, backgrounds, and traditions and most of all, I am connecting differently with myself.
What do I say to my friends who think I have lost my mind, all this religious stuff? Well, I say this, for me it really isn’t about religion; in fact I still have my struggles with institutional religion. To me it is about something much deeper than the semantics of how one faith describes something differently than another. To me it is about love, compassion, and most of all coming together in community. I don’t just mean community that looks, talks and walks exactly like us, I mean community that stretches your comfort, that looks different than you, prays (if at all) differently than you, and perhaps even thinks about politics differently than you.
It wouldn’t however be a thanksgiving message for me if I didn’t make a couple of political comments.
I think one of the reasons George Bush was successful early on and why I think politics is broken is, he very effectively separated us into groups and appealed to each group with what they wanted to hear. This is not new from politicians or Madison Avenue. We have individualized our society in such a way that the expert marketers and political consultants have made it an art form to break us down to individuals making individual decisions about the color of their car and the mustard on their bun. Having it your way seems to be a mantra.
I also think that we have individualized the way we deal with issues in society. We are treating the symptoms and with rare exception, we aren’t treating the problems, or the structural issues. It is too easy to make people feel better rather than address the toxic nature of the structure. But here is where I divert my path from Arnold, we have to do this together. It is not feasible, expedient, or civil to play together pointing fingers and calling names. It didn’t work in the school yard and it won’t work as adults.
I have often quoted Martin Luther King Jr. in this blog and I do it again. In fact, I have used a popularized version of this quote in another entry. But here is actually the full quote from the Letter from a Birmingham Jail:
“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” What a line. How can we as caring people, as people who crave justice, who complain about the war, who question the ethics of Washington, how can we look at the structures we feel need changing and be satisfied just treating the symptoms? I would like to suggest that the first step is building understanding and stepping over our borders to create community.
We so often end up treating the symptoms of a problem, the illness after a problem has become toxic but rarely if ever, do we address the structural needs of a problem. (My holistic friends should love that line.) We see this with war, homelessness, drug abuse and a litany of other issues in our society. Someday, we will have to look at these issues with a different lens if we truly want to affect change. Building community has to be the start. This is my journey now. Day to day I travel through this unknown and I am much happier for it.
On a personal note, I would like to mark the passing of two members of my community. My cousin Malcolm, not someone I knew very well, he was my mother’s first cousin. He was a funny man, sort of rollie pollie. His death was sad for two reasons, first, it made my mother sad, but it also made me think of how long it had been since I had seen him, knew about his life, or even thought about him. He was a part of many of my early childhood memories, but here was a family member that had passed without even a recent thought from me.
The second person was a close friend of my mother’s, the mother of one of my brother’s best friends, and someone who was also in my life since I was a child. This woman was someone I had seen through the years, thought about a lot as I learned about her struggles with ALS and I was very saddened by her passing. Although not always seeing eye-to-eye in the past, my mother and I have been sharing our journeys more closely lately and she shared some of her thoughts about this latest experience. She would take this woman to lunch every week until shortly before her death she could go to lunch no more. This woman, also “fought like hell,” to go to lunch until she absolutely couldn’t. I got the sense from my mother that she was fighting to squeeze every moment she could out of life by among other things, taking the simple act of getting dressed and although unable to speak, going with her friends to share a meal.
My journey has led me to a place where I am exploring the spirit and mystery of life and how we as people frame it, deal with it, and travel through it. As this Thanksgiving approaches, I am thinking about the things I have done and the people I have known. I think about what has led me here, this place, at this time, and I look back at those who came before me and those that will be here long after I am gone and I can only think one thing, I am so thankful.
I am thankful for Malcolm, for the little imprint he left on my life and in many ways I am sorry that this is realized after his passing. I am thankful for our friend Sandy and the way, even without words, she has spoken to me through her actions. I am thankful for my mother and my family, and although our relationships are not all perfect, they are what they are. I love them and I am a better person because of them. I am thankful for my fiancé who provides me with love like I have never known, and a life that I didn’t think I could have. And I am also thankful for all of you, whoever you are, friends, classmates, teachers, for what you teach me and how I live a richer and more fulfilling life because of you. Whether we meet in passing, struggle with homework together, or just sit quietly to share a meal, as Thanksgiving approaches I am thankful that you have shared with me those precious moments that come and go in time.
This year’s Thanksgiving theme is about connection. It would be wrong for me not to talk about connection considering what I have been going through this year. I am connecting with people in completely new and fascinating ways. I am connecting with my family differently than before (interesting for sure), I am connecting with people of different faiths, backgrounds, and traditions and most of all, I am connecting differently with myself.
What do I say to my friends who think I have lost my mind, all this religious stuff? Well, I say this, for me it really isn’t about religion; in fact I still have my struggles with institutional religion. To me it is about something much deeper than the semantics of how one faith describes something differently than another. To me it is about love, compassion, and most of all coming together in community. I don’t just mean community that looks, talks and walks exactly like us, I mean community that stretches your comfort, that looks different than you, prays (if at all) differently than you, and perhaps even thinks about politics differently than you.
It wouldn’t however be a thanksgiving message for me if I didn’t make a couple of political comments.
I think one of the reasons George Bush was successful early on and why I think politics is broken is, he very effectively separated us into groups and appealed to each group with what they wanted to hear. This is not new from politicians or Madison Avenue. We have individualized our society in such a way that the expert marketers and political consultants have made it an art form to break us down to individuals making individual decisions about the color of their car and the mustard on their bun. Having it your way seems to be a mantra.
I also think that we have individualized the way we deal with issues in society. We are treating the symptoms and with rare exception, we aren’t treating the problems, or the structural issues. It is too easy to make people feel better rather than address the toxic nature of the structure. But here is where I divert my path from Arnold, we have to do this together. It is not feasible, expedient, or civil to play together pointing fingers and calling names. It didn’t work in the school yard and it won’t work as adults.
I have often quoted Martin Luther King Jr. in this blog and I do it again. In fact, I have used a popularized version of this quote in another entry. But here is actually the full quote from the Letter from a Birmingham Jail:
I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” What a line. How can we as caring people, as people who crave justice, who complain about the war, who question the ethics of Washington, how can we look at the structures we feel need changing and be satisfied just treating the symptoms? I would like to suggest that the first step is building understanding and stepping over our borders to create community.
We so often end up treating the symptoms of a problem, the illness after a problem has become toxic but rarely if ever, do we address the structural needs of a problem. (My holistic friends should love that line.) We see this with war, homelessness, drug abuse and a litany of other issues in our society. Someday, we will have to look at these issues with a different lens if we truly want to affect change. Building community has to be the start. This is my journey now. Day to day I travel through this unknown and I am much happier for it.
On a personal note, I would like to mark the passing of two members of my community. My cousin Malcolm, not someone I knew very well, he was my mother’s first cousin. He was a funny man, sort of rollie pollie. His death was sad for two reasons, first, it made my mother sad, but it also made me think of how long it had been since I had seen him, knew about his life, or even thought about him. He was a part of many of my early childhood memories, but here was a family member that had passed without even a recent thought from me.
The second person was a close friend of my mother’s, the mother of one of my brother’s best friends, and someone who was also in my life since I was a child. This woman was someone I had seen through the years, thought about a lot as I learned about her struggles with ALS and I was very saddened by her passing. Although not always seeing eye-to-eye in the past, my mother and I have been sharing our journeys more closely lately and she shared some of her thoughts about this latest experience. She would take this woman to lunch every week until shortly before her death she could go to lunch no more. This woman, also “fought like hell,” to go to lunch until she absolutely couldn’t. I got the sense from my mother that she was fighting to squeeze every moment she could out of life by among other things, taking the simple act of getting dressed and although unable to speak, going with her friends to share a meal.
My journey has led me to a place where I am exploring the spirit and mystery of life and how we as people frame it, deal with it, and travel through it. As this Thanksgiving approaches, I am thinking about the things I have done and the people I have known. I think about what has led me here, this place, at this time, and I look back at those who came before me and those that will be here long after I am gone and I can only think one thing, I am so thankful.
I am thankful for Malcolm, for the little imprint he left on my life and in many ways I am sorry that this is realized after his passing. I am thankful for our friend Sandy and the way, even without words, she has spoken to me through her actions. I am thankful for my mother and my family, and although our relationships are not all perfect, they are what they are. I love them and I am a better person because of them. I am thankful for my fiancé who provides me with love like I have never known, and a life that I didn’t think I could have. And I am also thankful for all of you, whoever you are, friends, classmates, teachers, for what you teach me and how I live a richer and more fulfilling life because of you. Whether we meet in passing, struggle with homework together, or just sit quietly to share a meal, as Thanksgiving approaches I am thankful that you have shared with me those precious moments that come and go in time.
posted by change2008 at 7:39 AM
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