NSP Report

(For those of you who don’t know, this past week I attended the Network of Spiritual Progressives Conference in Washington D.C.)

It is hard to know where to begin with this “report,” so I think I will just start here—for me this conference was about transformation both personal and societal.

For one brief moment this past Saturday, I felt that the world really could be transformed. That was what this conference boiled down to, that no matter what the pundits would say when it was over, David, the idealist and the realist believed there really could be a transformation in the world to a new bottom line based on respect, love and compassion.

The question that comes from this is, what personal transformation must I make in order to transform the world? The simple way to ask this is how can I be the change that I want to become? More deeply, what are the things that I must do to help facilitate a more loving and accepting community? I think a part of this process is to do my best to get over feelings of personal or societal wounding caused by those whose politics or views I oppose. Yelling insults at George Bush at a peace rally may make me feel better but is it really doing anything to help transform the world to be a better place?

The first conference in Berkeley this past summer was this wonderful new idea where I met people who craved a deeper meaning in the world, this second conference however was different. I really feel that this message of transformation is getting clearer, more people are catching on to the ideas, and that true change might actually be possible.

Possible, but not easy. Regarding a more global transformation, as a part of the planned activities there were many meetings with Senators and Representatives on Capitol Hill. Initially I thought these meeting were premature but later I appreciated how truly grassroots they were. The biggest meeting for the California delegation was with an aid to Diane Feinstein. About 50 of us, with little organization and no real pre-planning, descended on the office all with our own words, thoughts and approach to “lobbying” our Senator about the existence of a new religious/spiritual left in America.

Without going into great detail, it was a microcosm of all that is good and challenging about this movement. After electing 3 speakers to deliver the message, which they attempted to do to the best of their abilities, others in the group felt the need to deliver messages that they felt were also important. Once again, what I worry about is how this might “shut down” the receptors of anyone listening. If we say things in the same way as they have always been said, will people act in the way they have always acted? With more planning I would have asked (and will ask in the future), how does every word and action help people in power clearly hear, authentically understand, and begin to believe that they too can be a part of a transformation.

I say “shut down” for a very specific reason. They have heard it before. Those who work at Diane Feinstein’s office very likely do not approve of the war either. They are probably against tax cuts for the rich; they want a fair immigration policy; and they desire a decent and more comprehensive health care program. One more progressive, speaking from their well deserved position of frustration, was probably not going to have a specific effect on policy and may in fact have turned on what I will call “the filter.”

What was wonderful about this experience however and could have a more lasting effect, was the presence of 50 people (they said they had never had a group that large a group come to the office) speaking in one voice regarding a new and growing movement of secular, spiritual and religious Americans coming together as a political force to propose and support a new and systemic method of solving the problems facing the country and the world. I believe just this in-person announcement of our presence had an impact.

Now to address personal transformation. One of the things that is hopeful to me is what happened as the conference progressed. During the conference I sent a note to the NSP San Diego Yahoo Group about some of the news articles being written about the conference. An email discussion ensued that was not unlike discussions that must be taking place all around this country. What is this Network of Spiritual Progressives? Who are they to think they can speak for me? Why should I join? Aren’t they all just a bunch of Christians trying to further co-opt the left? These and many other questions have been raised and I imagine, will be repeated in communities all over the country in the coming months (or years) and quite frankly, although the conversations are uncomfortable, it is amazing that they are happening at all.

One of those potentially uncomfortable conversations happened during a session I attended. Although potentially uncomfortable, this ended up being a unifying moment, a moving start and what I believe demonstrates the true message of this conference. (I apologize to those on the Yahoo group list for the repetition of this story.)

This session was about African Americans as a part of this spiritual movement. About 1% of the people at this conference were African American. Out of the 30 attendees to this session, 9 were African American. People came to this session with a wide variety of ideas about what it was going to cover. Some thought it was just an African American caucus to talk amongst themselves about the need of their community in this process. Others thought it was going to be an opportunity to address the lack of African American people at the conference. What ended up happening was something much different from either of those.

People in the group, mostly the African Americans, shared deeply from their authentic selves about the pain and anger of the divisions of race in this country. They talked about how that affected their own sense of wholeness and what issues they had to face as they walked through life in a community that doesn’t understand and at times fears each other.

There was one woman, a light skinned African American woman, who at one point just started crying. After a moment, she raised her head and said the she was a product of a 1960's love relationship between a dark-skinned black man and a white, Catholic woman. She said that she had never fit in to either group and the pain she had felt in growing up in a country that didn’t accept her or even know what to do with her was overwhelming and over the years was intolerable.

She said that the reason that she was crying was that she had never heard people share their feelings on this subject so honestly and authentically. She almost couldn’t believe that this could happen and although she didn’t say this, it felt as if she could not believe that people of different skin colors and religious backgrounds could come together in the same room with such love and respect and even have this conversation.

That is what all of this is about for me, the moment of transformation that took place in that room. The beginning, and let me emphasize, truly that this is just the beginning, of a movement to have these conversations. To be authentic and work through the years of mistrust, anger and pain. To be able to embrace the values that lie deep in us all even if we don’t accept the beliefs that others may have. This moment, on that day, at this conference, made this trip worth it to me.

Of the many, many things I could quote to capture the spirit and the heart of this conference I will close with two. One of the speakers said this, “Don’t follow your bliss, follow your heartbreak.” What is the pain in the world that you wish to transform and how can you devote yourself to that with all of your being?

The other thing was particularly meaningful to me and I believe is at the core of Michael Lerner’s message and the message of the new NSP. If we talk to “them” or the “others” or those “who don’t agree with us” and they don’t understand, is it not our duty to refine and change the message? Must we not try to be more loving? Must we not try to be more real? How are we ever going to transform the world if we don’t understand their opposition and if our message isn’t working, hone a better message based not on the words we have come to use in opposition but the common ground of the shared values we can discover. Someone has to blink first for real transformation, I am willing for it to be me.

I hope that I can be more compassionate, and above all, understanding the urgency of the need for change, be more patient while acting everyday for change.

Real change takes time.

I can not and will not believe that things must be and always will be like they are, even with a “Democrat” variation. This may not be the perfect roadmap, but I now know the journey has begun.

Further Information:

http://www.spiritualprogressives.org/

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003008966_religchurch21.html?syndication=rss)

End of the Year Report

This is not really a political blog entry, it is more personal than that. It is an end of the year school report if you will. Last week, I received an assignment to answer three questions about my vocational discernment and formation process over the past year. As I write this with two weeks left in the semester, I intended to write the 300 – 500 words the assignment called for, be done with it and move on to the next 5-10 page paper on the list, but I have to pause here and really put some thought into these questions, they deserve thoughtful answers.

This has been one of the most amazing years of my life and one of the fastest. I can not believe how this year has flown by and that I am now just about finished with my first year of graduate/theology school/seminary. I have never had such an extraordinary experience and I hope you will see that in the answers to these three assigned questions.

Question 1 – What have you learned this semester about your vocational desires and/or direction?

What have I learned, let’s see, where do I start? I have always felt that I was being prepared for something in life; some might label this a calling and for now I will just leave it at that (although I usually add, I wish whatever was calling had caller ID). For years I was involved with politics and thought that maybe I would run for office, but I saw the brutality of our political process during the Clinton years and I became very disillusioned with the acrimony of the whole mess. However, even after that, I have always felt a need to do or say things to help heal the world and somehow I needed to find a path to try and do that.

This year, by an amazing series of events, I feel like I have found that path. I can not even begin to tell you how often and how deeply I have felt affirmed and supported to do this thing I am doing. I know now more than ever, that from this journey I will learn skills and develop thoughts that will further prepare me to take on the challenges and rewards the future holds.

I believe this world needs structural change. I think there is a growing movement of people looking for new ways and new answers to the problems of greed, poverty, hunger, ignorance and war. The confirmation I have felt through feedback on my writing, my thoughts and my actions has helped me feel like I do have something to say. I am trying to live a good life, a life of integrity and to do the best I can to be the change I want to become. This is not easy, but I continue to strive to walk a spiritual path together with others, doing what we can to change the world.

Question 2 - What have you come to understand about your faith?

This is a very interesting question for an agnostic, Jewish, humanist, Chicago-born, Unitarian Universalist attending a liberal Methodist school of theology, but surprise, I do have an answer.

I have a growing and very strong feeling about my faith. Last week we had a panel discussion on inter-religious dialogue. It all went very well until people actually started talking about religious beliefs using dogmatic religious terms. I guess I can say that I was not all that shocked when the room got tense and the panel ended shortly thereafter. The discussion the class was having before the panel portion began was about how shared values are the beliefs that actually unite people. In other words, I believe that if we were to have a discussion on values, the people in that room (whose values are probably pretty similar) would have been able to have a much more stress-free conversation, but because of the religious language, tension followed.

This leads me to the discussion of my faith. In Hebrews in the New Testament, (using religious language hopefully with broad meaning) faith is described as “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” I have come to deeply believe now more than ever that there is hope for the world and I do this in the midst of one of the most difficult times in modern history. I also believe that my new faith, Unitarian Universalism, offers a hopeful and wonderful message. To me, this message is based on coming together in community supported by values and not about the polarizing religious language that can come from institutional religions.

One of the most significant areas of enlightenment for me this year has been learning some of the good things about some of the messages of religion. Through my studies, I have come to understand our need for joining together in community to share the unexplainable, the mysteries and the sheer awe of life. Also, I have come to believe that the less we use the “language” of religion and the more we share the timeless messages based on shared values, the easier it will be for us to live together. So, my personal faith has grown and so has my clarity about what religions have to offer.

Question 3 - What did you come to understand about your sense of God (or of whatever is of the ultimate significance for you)?

Ah, here is the big one, what have I come to about God. I will say that this has been my single biggest change this year. I have not come to the belief that there is an omnipotent God looming down upon us. (I could get into a whole bunch of theology that I have studied this year, but I won’t.) There are all kinds of definitions of God. For my Pagan friends, they speak about the Goddess and Mother Earth, my Christian friends talk about Jesus and the trinity, (which they debate), and my atheist friends just say no to God. I have my own take on God. I have found my first year of seminary fascinating for among other reasons, its effect on my thoughts on God. What I have learned is that my opinion on how I think about God has not changed a great deal, but my thoughts on how others think about God have changed significantly.

To me, God represents the feeling that we all get when feeling loved, accepted and tuned into our community. It is something that I can not explain, but I know it when I feel it. It is the love that transcends our fears and pettiness. One way I have explained it lately was that I believe there is a metaphorical layer of energy and love that streams above us, on occasion we rise above our daily lives and flow in that stream. When we do, we know it. This is unsettling for many religious people I know. They would like a more firm depiction of God to hold on to, but I am comfortable living in the unknown and not having to have a firm definition of an omnipotent God.

My thoughts on others beliefs have been extraordinarily expanded. Here at a Christian school, I have come to learn the need to separate theism from institutional religion and that there are many different Christian conceptualizations on God.

I think there is a part of our brain or life energy that when fully aware and functioning, can transcend our daily lives and connect at a more spiritual level. For example, I do believe that as a result of the events of September 11th, 2001, although the horror of the day was beyond words, for a short time the events served to strip away our daily layers and exposed some to the core. I remember being a part of groups that week that connected like never before, in a loving and spiritual manner. Although I have many other examples not based on tragedy, I will never forget the reaction of my community in connecting with others in love and spirit.

What this means for me is that I intend to facilitate community almost any way I can. In community is where I believe God (or my definition of God) lives. As a minister, I feel my calling (from whatever is calling me) is to transcend our differences through words and deeds and lower, move or abolish the traditional boundaries that serve to keep us divided. I think we need to celebrate our differences of cultures and faith, but I hope that I can instill a strong and growing sense of shared principles and values that transcend our traditional feelings of rightness of our own take on faith.

So, where does that leave me? It leaves me in perhaps one of the most fascinating places in my life. I end this semester with a need for summer employment for the first time in 25 years. I will spend the summer excited about moving on from the first year of classes into classes that feel more specific to my type of ministry. I anticipate starting the first year of a two year internship at a local UU congregation.

I feel open for whatever awaits me on this journey. But, even more significantly, I am so much more deeply convinced that although it will take hard work, patience and huge amounts of love and understanding, I truly believe we can create a better world and I hope that this experience will prepare me to play some small part in that change.